One of the most precious memories I have before my beloved Carrol died was her oft repeated
words to me: “I love, love, love you”! Oh, how I miss hearing those words. Even though I am
predominantly deaf, Carrol’s voice was one I could hear via reading her precious lips. Perhaps
the most difficult truth I’ve had to grapple with in my faith, is that while I know I will see her
again, it won’t be the same. Yes, we’ll know each other and perhaps even remember our
memories; but, it won’t be the same – and I long for the same!
Jesus’ Disciples grappled with the same truth shown in Matthew 22:24-30: “24-Saying, Master,
Moses said, If a man die, having no children, his brother shall marry his wife, and raise up seed
unto his brother. 25-Now there were seven brothers with us: and the first, when he had married a
wife, deceased, and, having no issue, left his wife unto his brother: 26-Likewise the second also,
and the third, unto the seventh. 27-And last of all the woman died also. 28-Therefore, in the
resurrection whose wife shall she be of the seven? for they all had her. 30-Jesus answered and
said unto them, You do err, not knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God. 30-For in the
resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in
heaven.”
Marriage and love in the same are earthly contracts. When death happens, that contract is
dissolved, it’s over! Even though there is definitely a spiritual aspect to marriage, that too ends in
death. However, my love for Carrol has not ended. In fact, weird as this may sound, I love her
more today than ever! I love, love, love you!
Memories of her; and her words of love to me, comfort me in my unrelenting grief. I know that’s
as it should be, but my grappling is not with that fact. I grapple with the Christian-speak, often
uttered to the grieving, “you’ll see her again”. Yes, I know, but it’s with the connotation of those
words that I grapple with. The connotation lends itself to the hope that we will be reunited with
our loved ones. Yes, we will. Just not in marriage. Just not the same as we enjoyed and
experienced here on earth. We, like Jesus’ Disciples, do err, not knowing or perhaps not wanting
to believe the Scripture that tells us there is no marriage in Heaven.
So, I struggle with accepting that because I’m still here on earth even though I’m heaven-bound!
Thom, November 15, 2024